Updated: Nov 12, 2020
I love to share deeply transformational client experiences, and this one really touched me.
I’m sharing her full story so you can see what’s possible when you commit to the inner work and heal from painful childhood experiences.
Catherine came to me in July at rock bottom. She was a self-confessed workaholic and was exhausted and overwhelmed. A deep sense of feeling unloved and not being good enough had impacted her since childhood, and now at 48 her business and personal life had started to unravel and she was plagued with low self-esteem and self-doubt.
She wanted to be able to let love in, accept herself and feel comfortable in her own skin. She wanted more joy and laughter in her life. It was also clear that she had weak boundaries both at home and work and was over giving and not taking care of her own needs.
The effect of this was a difficult relationship with her husband and a business partner that wasn’t doing his fair share, leaving her to do all the work. She had some decisions she needed to make in her life and wanted the confidence to speak up and make the changes she so desperately needed to make to avoid burnout.
She had a Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session to address the root cause of her lack of self-love and low self-esteem and several coaching sessions to integrate the positive changes into her life and help her make a clear plan to move forward in her business.
Catherine has transformed in so many ways, as she explains below.
I was struggling with feeling unloved since childhood. It affected my relationships with others as well as how I felt about myself. Despite reading lots of self-help books and trying other forms of help I still felt unloved, even by my children. My way of coping was to keep busy, work too hard and focus on everyone else. I became the extra helpful, useful person. I ignored myself and my own needs because I didn’t feel I mattered.
I’m a small business owner, and I worked myself into the ground. There was always so much work to do I was constantly overwhelmed and exhausted. I never felt good enough. I had no confidence in my abilities so I just hid in the background doing the doing rather than leading.
After working with Kirsty my life really did transform!
Just 4 months on I feel secure and happy with all aspects of my life and my confidence is so much higher. I feel everything has had an upgrade. My mind is not dwelling on past events and I look towards the future with optimism. I’m focusing on me, finding a good balance between work time and me time. I no longer allow others to treat me as they did before. I speak my mind calmly and easily and focus on what’s important and how to move forward rather than stewing on problems and feeling low.
I feel like a better, upgraded version of myself. I’m enjoying life more and my relationships with my family are so much better. Life is wonderful.
In fact you have helped save my marriage which has been teetering on separation for some years now as we had become so emotionally distant. I now actually feel loved!!
Catherine on the hypnotherapy and coaching experience
This was a comfortable, process. The changes happened gradually and gently and bit by bit I saw changes in how I was able to say what I wanted, share how I felt and decide where I wanted to go.
Kirsty has such a lovely manner, a calm and gentle voice which is very soothing. She explains everything really well and helps you understand yourself, the issues you might be experiencing and how these will change for the better. I feel that she genuinely cares about me as a person and I will be forever grateful for how I now feel and see the world.
So what was at the root of Catherine's struggles?
Catherine never experienced love as a child, so was unable to recognise it or let it in as an adult. Often people who don’t feel good enough will people please to gain positive attention and affection. Working longer and harder, endlessly doing things for other people, and not setting boundaries are common coping strategies. Often this is compounded when the person feels they somehow don’t deserve to have love or get their needs met. They blame themselves for not being good enough and can spend their lifetime unconsciously punishing themselves by staying stuck and unhappy.
In the work I do with clients we get to the root cause of the issue, find the beliefs they made about themselves at the time, and change their thoughts about the experience. In this example, Catherine felt unwanted as a baby and that if she hadn’t been born everyone’s life would have been better so she carried years of blame just for existing! We released the years of emotional pain, reframed the experience, and installed new more positive beliefs about herself and her place in the world.
When you do this it’s transformative. Both mentally and physically. The sad, exhausted person that first cried to me on the phone is now a happy, motivated bubbly person full of energy and buzzing with new ideas.
I’m excited to see her pushing forward in her business, bringing her new ideas to life whilst also creating more space in her life to spend more quality time with her family and pursue her passions.
And as Catherine says, her life is now wonderful... and I’m a very proud coach!
Get in touch if you think it’s about time you put yourself first and want to know how I can help.
Client name changed for confidentiality reasons.